Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Wednesday

Continue to read in Allende to page 141 for Tuesday/Wednesday. See schedule and deadlines at right.

I am reading senior commentaries, and let me reveal a few phrases that you should avoid like the bubonic plague in your papers:

The author uses style and imagery to MAKE HIS SENTENCES FLOW. (What the heck does that mean, anyway? Use text to prove points. Flowing sentences are not demonstrable nor even, in every case, desirable. Plus, I still do not know what it means for "sentences to flow" when we speak of professional writers. It is an empty term used when you don't know what you are talking about, so it is like a big red and white flag of Siam saying "I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!")

The author uses a dark tone TO MAKE AN IMPACT ON THE READER. (Who is this imagined reader? It's NOBODY! It's a black hole of a concept into which can drip all manner of foolishness. Use text to prove points, not some assumption tagged THE READER. At this stage, and until further notice, totally ban THE READER from your critical work! THE READER is another red flag!)

The author uses a DARK TONE to make an impact on the reader. (This one is already dead in space because it has a black hole in it, but what is a DARK TONE? Tone describes the attitude of the writer, narrator, or speaker toward his subject or audience. Tone can only be demonstrated through diction and phrasing that reveal attitude, preferably examples with more than one possible meaning. It helps if you define "attitude toward WHAT" -- the subject, character, or audience? The context determining the meaning, and the meaning so determined, demonstrate tone. The author or narrator's tone will not be "dark." That's way too ill-defined. It will be bitter, callous, condescending, contemplative, contemptuous, critical, cynical, defensive, defiant, desperate, detached, determined, didactic, diplomatic, disdainful, dramatic, formal, friendly, enthusiastic, humorous, indignant, informal, intimate, ironic, judgmental, lighthearted, malicious, mocking, nostalgic, objective, persuasive, reflective, reverent, sarcastic, sardonic, satirical, sincere, sympathetic, tragic, urgent, or vindictive. Those adjectives describe a very specific attitude. And then you have to take individual words, sentences, and relationships within the text and convince me that you are right about it.)

7 comments:

Kayla :] said...

I don't know why, but this post made me laugh for 15 minutes solid.

Mr. Koon said...

What tone does the writer take in the Wednesday post? Toward what?

Meg McGill said...

He takes an exasperated air. He is very confused as to why he is teaching supposedly the best and brightest and they give him not so 'great' work. He wishes for better writing from his seniors and juniors.

It made me giggle too. :-)

SPHS CHEER 23 said...

Hey Mr.Koon do you have a rubric for our paper for 100 years of solitude? If so which file is it on your downloads page???

Katie said...

Really, Meg? I felt a definitive joy within the author's post. It was like the sun coming out on a cloudy day overlooking a small Italian villa.

...Eh, not so much. :D

I laughed, too. Then I showed Kevin and he laughed.

Kayla :] said...

Kevin laughs at anything.

However, I agree with you Katie.

So joyous it brought to mind whole wheat bread and kitties in the springtime...all with an underlying edge of "do not test me, I shall smite you." wrapped up in strawberry shortcake.

Meg McGill said...

We are being very inventive in our metaphors are we not?

I'm still catching the inferno part of Dante's Inferno... But once again that's just my opinion...